A Mother's Wish List

A Mother's Wish List :



A mother's wish list on their children can be rather long. But rarely do we see it expressed on paper. The list hibernates in the mind and what we do see or rather, hear is probably the occasional bursts of comments, critiques, advice, naggings and sometimes affirmations or compliments of what should and should not be done. That is how it normally manifests itself. Perhaps a lot of anger, disappointment or anxiety can be avoided by putting them in a list and regard them as a doa. If the doa comes through, alhamdulillah. If not, do not despair just be patient and keep on guiding and advising.

The list:

• Prayers voluntarily done without having to be reminded.



• Greetings of Salaam when entering the house or leaving



• Informing when going out and when will be returning home especially if staying out late



• Having meals at home when informed that food have been cooked



• Helping out in the kitchen either before meals or after meals



• Calling home at least once or twice a week to check on parents' condition as a caring son/daughter



• Drives carefully and updates parents along route and upon arrival at destination when travelling long distance to allay mother's anxiety



• Able to read body language of parents when they are angry, sad, happy, anxious, needing some attention or help



• Pursue religious knowledge to strengthen faith and to learn of obligations to Allah, parents, family and ummah



• Read and understand the quran and hadis because of love of faith



• Have ability and confidence to become imam when parents become jenazah



• Remembers to doa for parents when alive or gone, for Allah's forgiveness after each solat



• Be successful in their education, careers and hobbies



• A tertiary qualification to lay the foundation is definitely in a mother's wish



• Having excellent living skills to manage day to day responsibilities and future



• Nuture own leadership/teamspirit qualities for household and career



• Endeavours to look after health and be sincere to leave whatever is not healthy eg. smoking or overeating because a mother's heart breaks into a thousand pieces when seeing her sick son/daughter



• Have a happy marriage and able to provide sufficiently for own family



• Bring up children to have excellent Islamic and secular knowledge



• Have means to perform hajj when still young



• Not too thrifty when spending for parents and family



• Marry a person who has iman, good akhlak, from good family and have pleasant looks



• Have a spouse who does not publicly belittle or privately gossip about son/daughter and vice versa



• Takes interest in maintaining contact with relatives of parents



• Informs spouse likes and dislikes of parents



• Remembers to touch base with siblings all the time



• Remembers to give zakat and sedekah



• Always be patient when speaking to parents , not even an "aah" (as prescribed in the quran)



• Able to joke and laugh with parents with ease knowing limitations and sensitivities



• Listen to advice from parents with patience, without feeling intimidated or defensive



• Have friends who are sincere and loyal and helps in character-building



• Able to have the courage to abandon 'friends' who are not sincere and a bad influence



• Not shy or scared to have a heart-to-heart communication with parents



• Take care of parents when they are not able to on their own



• Take equal responsibility to look after parents in their old age



• Able to manage estate according to syariah and law
  

It is an open-ended list. This mother tends to get carried away and probably have more thoughts hibernating inside. But the intention of the list is always, always the desire, as custodians,to bring up children who are loved and blessed in this world and the next.