My Mom

May 10 is the official Mother's Day. The day is almost over in a couple of hours. But how can a mother be celebrated on 1 day only. Mother's Day is every day. Since we are at it, Father's Day should also be every day. I suppose choosing a particular day just prompts everyone to focus on this day which makes it easier for short-memoried children to remember their moms! And of course during these difficult economic times it'll prompt sons and daughters to help stimulate the economy by buying flowers, chocs or text messages to their moms.



Although I remember my mother and father every day, at least five times a day when I decided to commit myself to the do'a for my parents in my daily prayers, I, like many short-memoried children do not always reminisce the time and sacrifice my mother had to go through to look after us.



Being the youngest, my mother seemed elderly when I was growing up. After all my mother had me when she was about forty. Those days at age forty was definitely not like the 'aunties'/'kakaks' in their forties now. Being number eleven, that means my mother had to go through contractions, delivery at home and confinement for the 11th time. It must have been painful, tiring, risky and burdensome to her. But did she say so or was it manifested in her actions? Definitely not . In fact, my mother was more lenient and more accommodating to me. I can only remember once or twice being given the rotan. Of course that could also mean I was a good girl!



My mother was a very strong-willed person and known to be forthcoming in her opinions in her family. She could only read jawi but always seemed worldly. Many in the kampung look forward to her presence at their house. Her contribution to my education was to make sure I was taken care of in terms of health, hygiene and discipline. Whilst my father sat next to me to teach and to motivate me in my studies.



What I remember most about my mother was her generosity and sense of compassion for those in need of her help. Irrespective of whether the person asking for support was family or a mentality-challenged person who came begging for food or money. She was always fast at taking out money from her purse when needed to, even if the recipient was shy to ask for it. I got used to seeing dishevelled men or women turning up at our windows for alms and to disappear again or just hanging around for a plate of rice and/or twenty cents. Of course credit is due to my father who gave adequate household allowance. My mother knew how much to spend on the household expenses, how much to save, some to help others and some to indulge in a bit of jewellery as a mami penang!



Although we always had a maid or two to help in the house my mother did most of the cooking. Some of the maids were from her kampung and given the job to help them. Once we even had the mother, daughter , mother-in-law (and her son worked at my father's office) working with us ( though not all at the same time ) We even had a slightly handicapped male helper to do light jobs around the house. The house at that time seemed big to accommodate many active people. But a visit to the government quarters much later in life really felt peony compared to then.

I was encouraged and allowed by my father to further my studies overseas at 18 years old. That was more than 33 years ago! At that time there were practically just three of us at home. My father was already not in the best of health. And they knew that when I leave it would be mostly just the both of them at home to fend for themselves. Of course my other siblings would be back from KL if help was needed and relatives were around. But education was of utmost important to both of them. Even if I was the homely type and had never even taken a flight before or gone outstation by myself they would rather see me go and discover the world.

A few years later, before I graduated my father had a stroke and one side of his body was paralysed. My mother had to uproot herself from familiar surroundings and came to live in K.L. This must have been traumatic, but mother patiently and stoically took care of her husband for more that five years before my father passed away. It must have been very lonely to live in the midst of a bustling city but not able to go out on her own. Unlike in Penang where she could just hail the trishaw and be with her sisters and friends.

My mother lived to the ripe old age of 90 when she passed away 2 years ago. I was at her bedside. I am grateful to Allah for giving me the valuable opportunity to look after her (after Allah gave my sister that gift) when she came to live with me for 4 years after I left my job and stayed at home full time. Alhamdulillah. My do'a to Allah for foregiveness if I did not take care of my mother in the best possible way as prescribed by Him. And my do'a to Allah to permit my mother to forgive me for whatever wrongdoings to her by the Day of Judgement. Ameen Rabbul 'lamin.

Pack Your Bags!

Pack your bags!





For those of us who still love travelling, these words would set the adrenalin shooting up! It's not the packing that creates the excitement, but rather the expectations of fun and discovery to come. Packing, to me, is the part the least I look forward to. It can be mundane and yet stressful. Decisions have to be made on whether to bring 3-4 jeans? how many blouses? tudungs to match or just neutral coloured ones? 10 undies ( disposable, too)??? Munchies ? Serunding? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Once we've decided where to go some homework have to be done. The costs, the itinerary , the places to stay and contingent plans if our first plans do not materialise. When travelling on official duty this would be the most important part. The appointments to be made was sometimes a hair-pulling saga because of trying to match venue and travelling time. Cancellations at the last minute were very distressing. But the good part about official duties is the budget for accommodation and transportation expenses is deeper than when travelling on our own! Of course, it's not close even by a mile the fun we have with our loved ones on holiday.



Travelling on holiday especially if not too many unpleasant unexpected things happen puts a big smile on me just thinking about it. The sightseeing, the shopping, the discovering of interesting places , looking for food and souvenirs and taking of pictures, pictures,pictures is so much fun. But the downside is it can burn a big hole in the bank account. So always be conscious of the budget we've committed to. It is a good habit to jot down expenses to tally our debits and to note down our observations for story-telling when we return.


Budgets aside, when we really like something at the bazaar or shops just get it. Forget about looking around first and buying later. You may not find it again and will regret not getting it then.

If we are holidaying in a developed country on a free-and-easy-trip (not with tour agent) eating out can be an expensive affair. In less developed places, food can be unsafe in some outlets. It is a good idea to prepare sandwiches or easy foods to bring along for brunch or lunch. Biscuits and chocolates can give instant energy. Dinner can be home-cooked food or eating out if within budget. While touring, watch out for halal food outlets for meals later. In most countries, Nandos serves halal food. We can check the net for halal food restaurants.

Flights to these places can be long and boring. But being an optimist can make flights more tolerable. We can just take a nap (snoring and all), watch umpteen movies, read, play games, daydream or even watch someone else drooling. Solat obligations can also be fulfilled. Just ask the crew for prayer space. Asking for extra peanuts and juices after mealtimes is not a sin. Be sure to ask a pleasant-looking crew and not the scowling tired-looking one who can just ignore us!

For those of us who are more 'mature' stretching our legs and emptying our bladders have to be done more often. Otherwise we'll suffer the consequences. Our toiletries bag should be kept in the cabin bag to freshen up lest we come out of the plane with unbrushed teeth and less than fragrant b.o.

Oh yes, at the airport we would be forwarned by security to ensure that we don't leave our bags unattended. There are unscrupulous opportunists who can insert contraband items in unzipped/unlocked parts of our bags. For guys and gals and also makciks travelling by themselves, be sure not to entertain strangers who are too friendly no matter how good-looking or naive-looking they are. It's better to be curt and brief than to fall prey to conmen/conwomen.


When we were having fun touring and shopping we may just felt the sore feet and aching hands carrying shopping bags. But the minute we land at home our whole body aches and resting in bed would be just heavenly. We wish a flurry of maids would be at our beck and call. We just need another small recovery holiday after our big holiday! So for those who are students or career people, be sure to have time to rest before the routine starts. Mothers...we rest in between doing the laundary and unpacking.