Friends, friends

Friends, friends ....



We can say friends are persons we meet, we get to know them and then like them for what they are. Sometimes we have expectations of them but most times we don't



When we meet a stranger or some one being introduced to us, we tend to size them up and form a perception of them. The saying "do not judge a book by its cover" is sometimes true. We've met those that appear fierce, negative, think highly of themselves, selfish, naive, insular, old fashioned, etc. etc. but they turned out to be the opposite when we get to know them. And became the best of friends. They were having bad days when we meet them or the way we present ourselves to them put them on their defence gears!



But we have also met those who are as they appear the first time. We hit it off in an instant and the friendship grows steadily. Or, yes we should run away from some of them lest they hurt us or make suckers out of us. The cover was an open book!



When we were very young children it was easy to make friends, just a hello and perhaps an offer of sweets or to share a slice of bread entitled us to call each other friends. No pretentions and no second-guessing. It was also easy to discard 'friends'. One day we were best friends and the next day we were no more friends. We could even tell her in the face that " I don't want to friend you"! The next day the status can change again.



As young adults, we tended to group ourselves. Friends were found in groups with common traits and likings and we stuck around in these groups. We might migrate to another group of friends. If we were not members of groups we tend to be called loners and not very friendly. When we didn't always hang out together we tend to say " oh so and so is just a friend (read: a little stronger than acquaintance ) but not really a good friend! This means we smile and chit chat but don't really reveal our inner thoughts to each other.



When we are older we would have met many more people. Most can be termed acquaintances and some dissipated. But many became friends and the friendships grow stronger. We may not meet often or hang out together all the time but our past experiences together are vivid. When we meet again much later, we can enjoy the reminiscing and the company.



Who are our friends?



We have friends who are fun to be with.



We have friends who are there when we need a good laugh.



We have friends who can just accompany us when we need to run errands.



We have friends who enjoy shopping with us.



We have friends who can sit with us and explain umpteen times things we don't understand.



We have friends who can sense our sadness or anger.



We have friends who know we need the moral or financial support.



We have friends who have broad shoulders to cry on.



We have friends who can prompt us to look at things out of the box.



We have friends who give strong motivation for us to be spiritually enriched.



We have friends who can give good advice without fear or favour.



We have friends who do not abandon us when we are in trouble.



We have friends who go out of the way to allay our fears and anxiety.

We have friends who do not pass judgement when they listen to our woes.

We have friends who when they compliment us have no ulterior motive.

We have friends who can easily forgive us voluntarily, without being asked.

We have friends who are not jealous of our success.

We have friends who are not vindicated by our failures.

We are truly lucky if all of our friends have these attributes. But we should be just as grateful if our friends have some of the attributes or only some of our friends have all of the attributes.

In the spirit of reciprocity, are we also a true friend?